Void
by Happii Haden
Summary: He missed it. Missed it so much.


Last minute idea, so very little research was conducted. Here ya go nerds. Happy birthday, Deidara c:

And happy SasoDei month!

Rated: K+

Word Count: 3842

Naruto © Kishimoto

Story © Happii Haden

* * *

Deidara woke up with a groan. The littlest bit of sunshine that had peeked out from behind his curtain seemed to find it's way to his eyes. He glared past the sun and looked to the vibrant, glowing numbers on his clock. 9:30. He was late for class - again. With a heavy sigh, he pulled the blankets off his tired body and trudged out of bed.

Gathering his clothes, he stepped into the bathroom. An attempt to wake him up and possibly make it through the rest of his classes. He stood in the shower, watching the droplets of water fall from the tips of his blond hair.

What day was it again? Something about it was nagging him. Oh well, maybe Sasori would know.

It was unfortunate, but Deidara somehow managed to make it to his first class. Though he was very late, his teacher didn't seem to care or notice when he slipped into the classroom. One person, however, did. Deidara nearly smiled at the annoyed look the other was giving him from across the room.

He sat next to the other student calmly. At first he kept his attention forward, ignoring the male. Only when a hand softly gripped his shoulder did he turn to greet his friend. His friend was not as pleased by his tardiness and he showed it through a painful flick of his finger against Deidara's forehead.

Deidara gave the redhead next to him a dirty look.

The redhead returned it.

Deidara frowned and crossed his arms.

The redhead sighed.

This time Deidara frowned for real. "Sasori…" he muttered.

The student passed him a note in response.

 _Talk after class. Pay attention, so you don't have to retake these classes again._

What a dick.

After a painful forty-five minutes of the professor explaining the importance of imaginary numbers and why we need them in everyday life, class was finally over. Deidara couldn't fathom why he had to retake such a high school course over again. Oh, right, he was completely shit at math. Doesn't explain why Sasori chose to attend the shitty summer class program. He was great at math! The guy was probably laughing at how ridiculously easy everything is.

As the two walked out together, Deidara was so focused on his grumbling that he almost got trampled by a group of female students. He was yanked back by his collar and gasped as his back hit his friend's chest. He glared at the women running toward the pretty boy of the school. Sure he was hot, but that didn't make him some kind of superstar!

Deidara glanced up at his friend who was still holding onto him. His face heated up at the proximity and swiftly pulled away.

Sasori put a hand on his shoulder, turning the blond to face him. His hands and lips moved. _Be careful, brat._

The blond flushed even more. It had been awhile since Sasori called him that. It had been awhile since Sasori acted like himself. He stopped being himself when… when he…

A sudden shake caught Deidara's attention. More hand gestures and mute lips were directed toward him. _Would it kill you to pay attention? I said I want to take you out tonight._

Deidara raised an eyebrow. Slowly, he signed, _What's the occasion?_

Sasori frowned and crossed his arms.

Deidara mocked the older male.

 _Your birthday, dipshit._

The blond froze. Was today really his birthday? He reached into his pocket and checked the date. May 05. How could he have forgotten? His own birthday? Really?

Beside him Sasori laughed quietly.

 _You forgot your own birthday? Seriously, Dei?_

Deidara pouted, "Of course not…"

Sasori gave him an incredulous expression.

The blond sighed and shrugged in defeat. _Fine. What're we doing?_

The redhead smirked and waggled his finger at the blond as if to say "not yet". Checking his watch for a brief second, the redhead grabbed the blond's hand. He motioned simply with one hand. _Let's go._

Deidara eyed their connected hands and followed numbly behind the redhead. Sasori was acting different again, but he was getting closer to his old self. Good.

The rest of school was boring for both students. It was odd having Sasori in all of his classes. He used to dream about it. It was different from how he imagined. Sasori was smart - way smarter than him. He didn't need to take summer classes. Or any of the classes Deidara was taking for a matter of fact.

 _I told you, I don't mind. It's like studying to me. I like having class with you._

Is what he'd tell Deidara every time the blond brought it up. Deidara didn't ask for him to do this though. He didn't want to cause trouble for Sasori, yet the other always disregarded his worries. He just couldn't understand why Sasori did the things he did. He already had it hard enough and sticking around with Deidara made it even harder.

 _You're my best friend, idiot._

The blond sighed and stretched as he got up from his seat. He supposed it couldn't be helped. Calling him an idiot. Sasori was the real idiot.

A nudge brought his attention back to reality. It was Sasori. Stupid Sasori.

"Hm?" the blond hummed.

The redhead cleared his throat and rubbed his neck. He looked embarrassed?

 _Can I drive you home?_

Deidara chewed his bottom lip. Sure they were best friends and it would seem reasonable that Sasori could take him home. Especially since they lived close to each other. Deidara just didn't want to be a hassle for him though, so he tried to do things on his own. For years he relied on Sasori. Sasori was better off without him. Deidara could survive on his own.

 _I just thought it'd be easier… you could change your clothes and we could just go out._

The blond nodded and slowly stood. He looked the redhead up and down and raised an eyebrow.

 _I brought a change of clothes with me._

Deidara couldn't fight back his smile. Sasori had always been such a dork. Prepared for anything. Even last minute plans were throughout meticulously.

The car ride was quiet. Deidara's eyes were glued to the outside. He watched as they passed several open fields and farms. He never understood why the university was built so far out in the country. Sasori had mentioned something about the uni needing space once, but that didn't mean they needed to be far away from civilization.

The blond glanced over at his friend. He looked peaceful. Happy maybe? Deidara almost wanted to say something, but didn't want to distract him. Instead he looked out the window again.

He used to live in the country. Him and Sasori both actually. It was fun as a kid. As a teenager it became unbearable. They were so far from the city and it made it nearly impossible to hang out with friends short notice. What made it worse was that Sasori had begun to distance himself in high school. His parents had died in a car crash when he was young, but when his grandmother died in yet another fatal accident he couldn't stand to be around people anymore.

It made Deidara wonder why Sasori drove in the first place. He had lost everyone he loved on the road.

Deidara's family eventually moved to the city. It was sad to think that he wasn't even sad when he had to move away from his best friend. The redhead he once knew, and even had a small crush on, had disappeared.

Then it happened.

Sasori came back and he stuck to Deidara like glue.

Unfortunately, Deidara wasn't as happy as Sasori was to see him. The blond was angry and sad. Nothing made sense. No matter how many times he screamed at Sasori to just leave him alone. No matter how many times he threw and broke stuff. No matter how many times he actually hit Sasori. Nothing made him go away. Finally when everything had sunk in, Deidara became jaded and went along with everything. It was then he noticed that Sasori had changed.

The redhead had always been a mean kid. Calling him names, pulling his hair, and taking his toys away just to have the blond chase him around the yard. Even as they got older, Sasori was still a prick. He didn't pull his hair or take away his toys. He would taunt the blond about how he looked like a girl. He would pin the blond down and make him say something stupid to get free. He would even go as far as to say that the blond's art was stupid and wrong.

Of course Deidara was just as mean as a child. Breaking Sasori's puppets, spitting in his face, and even occasionally biting the redhead.

But it all changed. Sasori came back and he wasn't mean. He was nice. Did things for Deidara. Became a pushover. At first it was kinda nice, but then it wasn't. Deidara missed the old Sasori. There was nothing he could do though.

Lost so deep in his thoughts, he almost fell out of the car. Sasori had opened the passenger side door and was holding it open like some kind of gentleman.

 _We're here._

Deidara rolled his eyes. "No shit…" he muttered.

Sasori rolled his eyes as well and closed the car door behind his friend. He followed the blond inside and happily greeted the boy's parents.

Deidara ignored his family and walked straight to his room. Soon enough, he spotted Sasori through his mirror as he entered the room.

The redhead smiled and encouraged the blond to pick an outfit.

Deidara fumbled with his hand gestures. He was still having trouble with sign language.

 _What… I wear?_

Sasori chuckled and moved toward the closet. He opened it and held up a random t-shirt. He then signed for _shirt_. Then he did a sign for _pants_.

Deidara fumed and swiped the clothes away from Sasori. Without thinking he snapped, "You don't have to treat me like such a kid, hn!"

The redhead blinked in surprise. Then his lips curved up and he pressed a hand to his ear. His lips moved silently, but Deidara could read them well enough.

 _I'm sorry? What was that?_

The blond huffed at the taunting redhead. Tossing the clothes back in his closet, Deidara scrambled through his closet to find something decent. He then turned to Sasori and pointed to his bathroom door.

The redhead rolled his eyes and shrugged his backpack, heading to the door the blond pointed at. He glanced at Deidara once more before shutting the door behind him.

The blond raised an eyebrow in confusion but shook it off.

Both boys changed and soon were off once again in Sasori's car. It was quiet again. Apparently Sasori felt the need to treat Deidara to a birthday dinner of some sort. Actually going out to a public dinner for his birthday was something he hadn't done since middle school. He was nervous. Would they try to sing to him? He's really hate that. A long time ago he would've loved that.

To his surprise, Sasori took him to a restaurant he hadn't been to in a long time. It was a simple burger joint. Deidara's favorite in fact. Seeing the faded red tiles and old blink sign sparked an excited feeling throughout the blond.

Sasori easily led the two inside. Deidara couldn't help but look around. It was just as he remembered. The same tacky color scheme. Once white walls that had yellowed with time and smoke damage. Dimmed lights making the atmosphere calm and welcoming. It was only missing one thing, but he didn't want to think about it or admit it.

Sasori's hand grabbed his. The feeling caused the blond to pull away in shock. Sasori glanced back at him with a guilty look?

"S-Sorry…" the blond muttered.

Sasori did something that looked like a sigh and a mix of mutters. He motioned for the blond to follow and soon they were seated.

Deidara bounced on the worn faux leather. It really had lost it's touch since he was a kid. He looked up as he saw their waitress approach. She handed them both a tall menu and offered to get them a drink. Before Deidara could speak, Sasori beat him to the punch.

He held up two fingers and mouthed _water_.

The blond grumbled. He hated when Sasori did that. Deidara wasn't some kid, He could do it himself! He knew how to order! He took a breath to deny the redhead, but the male's expression caught him off guard. It was as if he were expecting him to do just that. For some reason, it made Deidara back down. He bit his tongue and just nodded.

Sasori pursed his lips at the action, but it went unnoticed by the blond.

Deidara flipped through the menu. It seemed they had updated it since. He really hoped they still had his favorite.

Fingers tapped against his menu.

The blond looked up. "Hm?"

Sasori held up his menu and pointed his finger to a certain item on the menu. It was… Deidara's favorite!

Maybe it was due to lack of business or because the waitress wanted a better tip, she was back and ready to take their order.

Once again Sasori intervened. He pointed to the beloved burger and held up two fingers like he did with the water.

For some reason this made the blond rebel. "No!" he snapped.

Both Sasori and the waitress stared at Deidara in shock.

Feeling flustered, Deidara quickly pointed to a random burger on the menu. "I want this instead, hn!"

The waitress nodded and took their menus from them.

Deidara looked across from him. The redhead was staring at him with a perplexed face. The blond averted his gaze by pulling out his phone. He pretended to be interested in his mobile and would look up frequently to see Sasori staring at him.

It wasn't until they got their food that the redhead gave up on gawking at him.

Deidara looked down at his burger. The burger he ordered just to spite Sasori. It looked gross. He really didn't want to eat this, but it'd be rude not to. The blond glanced up at his favorite burger. Sasori was holding it in his hand about to take a bite. He stopped when he caught Deidara's stare.

The blond blushed and focused on his burger.

A hand took away his plate, swapping it with the food he'd actually enjoy eating. Deidara's head snapped up to glare at Sasori.

The redhead gave the blond a questionable look. He signed, _What? It's not like you were gonna actually eat the shit you ordered._

Deidara frowned. Sasori was right of course, but that didn't make Deidara hate the fact less. The blond looked around the room once more. He knew what was missing.

Sometime into the dinner, Sasori grabbed his hand. Something he had been doing quite a lot today.

 _You're not enjoying this are you?_

The blond bit his lip. He wasn't, honestly, but it wasn't necessarily Sasori's fault. The guy was just trying to treat him on his special day.

The redhead sighed and motioned the waitress over. Deidara nearly thought they were going to call it a day and leave. Instead, the redhead ordered a milkshake. One milkshake.

The blond watched with hungry eyes as the woman sat a tall glass of pink between them. Perfectly whipped topping and a bright red cherry on top. A classic strawberry milkshake. Again, something Deidara very much enjoyed.

Sasori pushed it toward the blond.

Deidara pushed it back.

The redhead scolded, but accepted it. _Fine._

The blond raised his eyebrows in confusion. Sasori hated sweets, especially strawberries! The redhead really hated strawberries! Why the hell was he-?

Deidara could barely contain his laughter as he watched the redhead take a large gulp of the pink cream. He made a disgusted face and gagged at the taste. The poor guy looked constipated. It brought tears of amusement to Deidara's eyes.

Sasori, after washing the taste out with water, smiled. He gently pushed it toward the blond once more.

This time, Deidara took it.

Getting back into Sasori's car again, Deidara felt tired. Ready to go home. However, the redhead had different ideas.

 _I've one more thing I want to do with you._

Deidara agreed passively.

They drove for awhile and the blond nearly fell asleep. He was surprised to find that Sasori had driven them to their old home town. Had they really been on the road that long? Sasori had some nerve kidnapping him like this.

 _Why here…?_

Sasori smiled and shrugged. They parked at a nearly empty lot. He gestured to the festival taking place.

Deidara had forgotten. His hometown loved festivals. Summer festival especially. It was fun as a kid. This was different though. It wouldn't be fun. Why did Sasori bring him here?

The redhead nudged Deidara. He didn't take his hand this time, he held it out instead. He was asking instead of taking.

The blond slowly took it, watching Sasori's heated face. _Why so shy now?_

Sasori gave him an embarrassed smile but didn't respond otherwise. He dragged the blond along.

The smell of fried foods, the beautiful glow of lights, and the feeling of the cool summer breeze was refreshing to Deidara. It felt so good compared to the city life he had grown accustomed to. Funny, he had come to hate the countryside.

The two males strode around the festival. They played a few games, Sasori ultimately kicking ass in almost all of them. Every prize he won, he just ended up giving to a child nearby. Deidara didn't mind. It wasn't like he wanted any of those silly prizes, but it brought back memories. Sasori was a selfish kid, so what changed? Dumb question, really. He knew.

Eventually the two settled down on top of the hillside, exhausted. He was glad Sasori took him. It had turned out to be fun after all.

Deidara laid down on the grass next to his friend. He closed his eyes and just felt the wind against his skin. Cold. He opened his eyes and saw the clear starry sky. Been awhile. Seeing them like this. Then it hit him. A sudden chill and nauseous feeling in his stomach.

Bright colors reflected off his pale skin.

He sat up, his long bangs covering his face.

A hand grabbed his shoulder. Sasori.

Deidara smacked the hand away with a cry. "How could you!?" he yelled. "Why would you!?"

Sasori seemed taken aback just the slightest.

The blond buried his face in his hands. "Why would you… you know…"

He missed it. Missed it so much.

"N-Not only is it the reason why, but I l-loved them!"

Sasori grabbed the blond's wrist - tried to.

Deidara pushed him away. "Are you fucking stupid!? Why would you-" he fumbled with his words. "I can't-" he clenched his fists tightly, "I can't… hear them…"

The redhead frowned and tried to explain, but Deidara stopped him.

"Knock it off, Sasori! I don't need you to take care of me! Why can't you just go back?"

Sasori furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. _What?_

"You've changed, hn! Ever since I lost my hearing you've been at my side like some kind of service dog. I can manage on my own!"

The redhead scoffed, _You can barely sign your way home. Excuse me for being a good friend._

Deidara's open palm hit flesh, leaving a lovely red after shadow. He was angry. So angry. He hadn't been this angry since the beginning.

Sasori stared at him.

Deidara stared back.

Then he was on the ground. Sasori above him, holding him down. When had the redhead gotten so strong? Where was that once puny weak kid?

Sasori forced Deidara's attention on him. _No. You did. You changed._ Though he was angry he tried to gesture as slowly as he could.

 _You stopped smiling… laughing… fighting… it was like you were dead inside. I know what it feels like. To lose something you love. It makes you numb. Everything starts to suck and you can't find pleasure in anything._

"You left first..."

Sasori frowned, _I know. I was hurt. Just like you are now. I wanted to die. I felt so alone. It was my fault-_

The blond's breath hitched.

 _Then I heard what happened to you. I came as fast as I could. Seeing you like that scared me. I clung to you in fear. I was so worried. I missed you. I still miss you. Maybe I have changed, but so have you._

Deidara closed his eyes trying to fight back his emotions. How could something he couldn't hear be so powerful? Powerful like an explosion. Fireworks. A pressure against his lips opened his eyes.

Sasori was… kissing him?

Though he couldn't really hear it, something in his brain translated those words into what he could remember of Sasori's voice.

"I love you, Deidara."

He couldn't hold back any more. He had held it in for far too long. Tears burst from his eyes and an ugly sob escaped his lips. He missed It! He missed the sound of a ticking clock. He missed the mindless chatter of people. He missed the terribly old music at the diner. He missed the sound of festivals. He missed the loud booms of fireworks. He missed hearing his best friend's voice.

His laugh.

His annoyed sighs.

His witty retorts.

Deidara missed it all. The world felt so empty without sound. He felt empty.

Sasori brought him into an embrace. He held him there for a minute - letting the boy sob into his shirt. Then he pulled him away. _If you can't be happy, then let's be miserable together, okey?_

The blond sniffled and reached for the redhead's face.

"Sasori…" The feeling of the redhead's name on his lips. "I missed you." The feeling of his heart's painful thumping. The feeling of Sasori's warm arms around him.

 _I know. Me too._

The feeling that something was missing

was filled.


End file.
